So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
