After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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