We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
