i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
