If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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