I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
