that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
