Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Well I just put wine in my tea
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
