I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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