i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
