think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
