I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
