I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
