i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
