i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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