Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
