There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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