Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
