she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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