I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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