Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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