I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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