I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
