I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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