also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
