It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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