i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
