Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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