I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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