Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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