it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Your cock deserves a montage
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
