Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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