Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
