shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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