haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize