U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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