Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
