There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
