I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
