I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
