An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
