What did we do last night that was yellow?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
