Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
