someone get that fucking seahorse.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
