Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
