At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
