Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
