no, he came in my armpit
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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