they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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