rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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