she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
