I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
