What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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