Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
