As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
