Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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